Resolutions -- or Goals! -- for 2012

It's that time of year again, and I have to assess 2011's goals and repurpose them for 2012.

Thankfully, this is not too hard to do, since I have been pretty steadily working on each of my 2011 goals and thinking a lot during the last week about how to revise them for 2012.

Here we go!

2011's goals were, as I took them in this blog:

1. Improve Overall Health
2. Change My Living Situation
3. Manage My Resources
4. Build a Better Community
5. See Creative Work to Closure

Health: This was only an okay goal, over the course of the year. While I worked on stabilizing my hormones and depression, I did not embrace exercise. For that reason, my weight and overall condition did not improve (note to self: it's true about exercise!). Positive outcomes: my depression is under control, my mood swings and other perimenopause symptoms are under control. My allergies/sinus problems flared up in the final weeks, but using a humidifier every night (!) as well as increasing my intake of H2O hugely improved that, rather than the OTC remedies I started with. Overall, I am in great health. Negative outcomes: my LDL cholesterol is high and not coming down, my weight is still over the line and not budging except bits and tweaks. I need to lose serious poundage and remember to maintain my health through habits of hydration, nutrition, movement, and meditation.

Living Situation: 100% improvement, maybe 150%. No more crackhead landlord, no more cracker box, reduced rent, more green space, and more light. Thsi one was a total success, despite sacrificing a good deal of savings on the 3-month overlap of spaces.

Resources: Time is a constant battle, between "shoulds" and "want tos." Yo, I'm human. However I did add the Rescue Time Robot to my desktop, and it tells me I am 79% more productive than average. So shut up, Critic's Voice! Money is another, different battle, but this year I did pretty well. I have a more affordable appartment (and even though I might only be saving $100/month, the happiness factor makes that huge). I rearranged my retirement $$ is a way that makes me feel more secure. I opened several successful venues of frugality for decluttering, including selling unwanted items. Energy is the real battle, and that's the 2012 focus.

Community: This, too, was a success. I joined a short story group of women I enjoy and while we've only met once, I look forward to more meetings. I opened myself to the performing community in town, and am building bridges there. I opened myself to the community on my campus, and am trying to open out of my division, my school, and into the university in a positive way. I need to set more goals here, however, and be open to groups of strangers.

Creative: This was a big success! I sold my first novel (coming out in June!) and have almost completed the second, which I am certain will be equally salable. I sent out my short plays in a month-long binge and have had one hit so far, and three rejections (so I've got a long way to go). It felt great, however, challenging myself to complete and submit projects.

Overall, 2011 was a good year in terms of my goals. I plan to build on that in 2012:

Improve Overall Health: not much change here in direction. However, I plan to focus specifically on maintaining good habits (like using the humidifier every night) while building new ones (like 30 minutes of movement every day). I'd like to add daily meditation and vitamins, but I think I'll be conservative in this area, since it is one that truly needs daily focus.

• January-April: make it a habit to spend 30 minutes every day in movement of some kind
• May-August: add daily meditation (which will work with my 2012 summer plans)
• Sept-December: add supplements and vitamins
• get a mammogram
• get a colonoscopy
• get a dermascan 

Living Situation: This is easy. Renew lease on apartment (i.e., don't move!). More, start researching the pre-fab house I love in detail through contacting the company and chatting with them. And start looking at the places I think I want to build it: Oregon, Northern California, and Washington are the three places I'm thinking about now. But they might stink once I look around. So... research.

Resources: As ever, my biggest battle will be managing time. I have come to hate scheduling and to-do lists. And yet.... I need a new car, I need a new mattress & box spring, I need to pay down (or off) my credit cards. All worthy goals, all hard to do at the same bloody time! This year I want to build on my basic foundations of frugal saving and repurposing and decluttering: I find that I am about done with the wholesale donations to Goodwill, etc., and while that is an easy and intelligent manner of getting things OUT OF MY HOUSE (and onto my tax savings) I must needs find other ways to open what one of my favorite blogs refers to as "additional revenue streams." And finding new energy is part of the Health intiatives above, plus the hormones.

Community: continued reaching out, across phone, email, work/personal connections to develop relationships with new people/groups as well as people I already like, love, and connect with.

• Habitat for Humanity: in the Dallas area
• Alum group: for connections and fundraising/support of current programs
• Short story group
• Theatremakers/academics/women in both

Creative: Here, I have very specific goals

• Finish and sell second and third novels
• Binge with short plays in February and Sept-Oct
• Journal daily: dreams, ideas, etc.
• Finish and send two reviews
• Finish and send encyclopedia entries
• Polish and send two articles (from ALA papers, 2011) to journals
• Present two-three conference papers (one scheduled, July)
• Blog daily (in either blog) and continue to post my own photos

Here is my overall goal for 2012: Make lemonade all year long, every day.

I am so tired of negativity, including my own. I really believe everything is an opportunity, seen in the right light. Context and response are everything... they can turn what looks like failure or an impass into something wonderful. Not to be goopy or stupid about it, but to stop letting myself define my view by others' vision. Ugh! Especially since I am butt-tired of the men in my life having stupid, negative, misanthropic outlooks anyway.

Oh, does that sound negative? Nope: it's all good.

Priorities

It is quite possible that my priorities are out of order. I mean by other people's standards or expectations.

This is something I have been considering for some time.

For example: after I moved again (to this lovely new apartment), one co-worker remarked, "You moved? Again? Why don't you just buy a house?" Like me, she meant. Her first act on moving here 17 years ago, was to buy a house. Of course, she was hired at a better income level and with complete security so... we weren't exactly in the same place then. Another colleague, from a different department, said something similar only a couple days ago: surprise that I moved again, to another apartment, rather than buying a house.

But why have I moved four times since I came to this town, living in five different apartments for periods between one and seven years? Why not buy a house and be like everyone else with homeowner security?

Good questions.

For example: after I got tenured and promoted the first time why didn't I turn around and focus my energy on the next promotion? (There aren't all that many in the academic world, outside of moving into administration, ugh.) Why didn't I invest my time in writing and publishing in academic journals and books, like everyone else? Especially since I like research and find history fascinating. Why put my time into teaching, which is more and more becoming a low-level activity for professors? In other words, I am not defining "success" in traditional academic terms, and possibly not in the terms of My U.

What then are my priorities in the area of teaching, research, and academic progress?

Good questions.

As a kind of sideways answer, I can say that 2011has been about exploring and pushing at new areas in my life for balance. Like improving my living situation by moving to this fab new apartment, decluttering my goods, and turning toward buying land and building a house for retirement (2012 project!).

Like building a new community, improving my current community, and making new ties professional and personal for career, health, and sanity reasons. Initiating new projects to build connections across job and personal lines.

Like changing my diet to a non- (or low-) sugar/no processed or fast foods/three-meals-two-snacks a day minimum. Increasing exercise -- walking, biking, yoga -- for heart health. Taking care of allergies.

Like adding creative habits to my weekly activities: writing prose, photography, cooking, even teaching.

Like working on my resources: money of course, but also time and possessions and friendships and skills. Like using my time in more intelligent, more positive ways -- ways that please me, support me, feed me.

Some of this I have been successful at -- on my terms. So considering priorities and consciously setting some -- for 2012 -- is next. And I can say that it has been a long time since I've even been interested in setting short-term or long-term goals. This is another healthy step.

First Night

Last night I sat down with five women--three of whom I already knew--and plunged into our new short story discussion group. We're meeting monthly to talk short story--our first, "Why I Live at the P.O." by Welty.

Last night, however, there was no short story talk--only introductions that led to talk about husbands, kids, jobs, illness, depression, anxiety, isolation, and re-creating ourselves in midlife (everyone was 40-50). Sounds depressing, right?

Not at all!

We talked, laughed, shared, gabbed, drank $2 margaritas, and planned the next meeting--where we will surely discuss Welty's prose.

It was interesting to hear these other women talk about the same problems I've been dealing with for the last two years. And more. Gave me a better outlook on Tuesday than I've had in some time.

Here's a link to Welty's story online: hilariously Southern!   http://art-bin.com/art/or_weltypostoff.html

And the good news keeps coming...

Today I had three productive meetings. (I know: hardly seems possible!)
First, with one of my writers to talk about her play. Lovely meeting, lovely discussion. Very productive.

Second, with a colleague in French who is part of a conference bringing in an African playwright next semester. I have agreed to stage excerpts from one or both of her plays during the conference with our students; we might find a second staging and an opportunity for students from multiple departments to meet and question the playwright, depending on how my chair responses.

Third, with a colleague from Creative Writing with whom I hope to form an alliance to connect our students in projects writing across genres: plays, screenplays, prose, and poetry.

Great "first step" meetings, all of which will bear great fruit, I hope.

Great Fruit

And... more news

Yesterday, I hired one of my former students to research grants for current projects. If we find some stuff to pitch, she'll help me write grants for funding or underwriting. I'm hoping we can find some monies to over-fund the department projects.

This is a great thing! She'll do the research, she'll help with the writing and the pitch, she'll be paid and earn creds for resume, I'll get money.

Downside? None.

And I'm giving her my Craigslist coffemaker (my dream coffeemaker!) and my Craigslist chair and footstool. Even more upside! These things will be out of my house, out of my life and happy happy happy with new people. Sigh... of pleasure.

Follow-Up: Glass Half-Full

In the spirit of optimism, I follow up yesterday's email of discouragement and astonishment with one of optimism.

If, as I believe, we are moving toward a period of disconnect between our academic pedagogy (or teaching) and free-for-all practice sans faculty, there are good things about this, for me, as well.

Like the opportunity to look outside my own department for collaboration. Right now, the projects I have built with colleagues from Medieval Studies and Creative Writing, from Music/Composition, from French, and from Film and Media Studies/Playwriting as well as the proposal for an interdisciplinary course including faculty from Music, Dance, and English to be taught in Spring 2013--all of these make me very happy right now.

Because of the chance to work with friends and new colleagues on exciting short-term projects.

Like the opportunities for my students I created and am creating. Getting my students into collaborations with professional actors and directors, with award-winning playwrights, with students from other disciplines, and even with each other. Getting my students produced and published. Getting my students into excellent internships.

Because of the chance to let my students test themselves in the Big World and to bring their writing to completion, in front of an audience.

Like the opportunities for my own writing and artistic work. The novel in pre-publication and the one being written. The three book reviews. The dramaturgy situation with a local theatre and playwright friend. The encyclopedia entries. The historical study in process. The two articles being developed from conference papers. The grants I hope to win for my own projects and the residencies I plan to earn.

These are short- and long-term projects that excite me, and that will make me a better writer/teacher/scholar/person.

Like the time to be spent with friends and family, instead of co-workers.

After all, one of my 2011 goals was to create a better, stronger community external to work. Which is all on me, after all. I've been doing pretty well, but attention must be paid!

All of this is made possible by the very argument of yesterday. Seen in this light, the glass is more than half-full.

Career "something" for Saturday

Today's career move was actually "moves":

First, across my virtual email desk came a request for interest in turning the recent presentations for the Crime/Mystery Colloquium into a published volume of collected essays. I immediately returned my "Yes, please!" and an attached abstract of my paper, as requested.

Second, I contacted two former students about projects. The first one I hope to hire to write a couple of grants for me, to produce student writing with professional actors and directors (and pay them decent wages for said work!), and the second one to schedule some Skype workshops with my writing classes.

Just throwing it out into the universe!

Three times the reviews

... for books.

Delightfully, academics are often asked to review books for scholarly journals. I am currently reviewing three books for two different journals. "Delightfully" because reviews are a source of free books in the area of one's expertise--and scholarly books are expensive.

I am reviewing Women, Medicine and Theatre, 1500-1700 for a historical journal. The author links the appearance of women on the theatrical stage with their roles in medical mountebankery... if that's a word. I'm enjoying the book and will turn in the review this weekend.

My next two reviews are for a theatre history journal, both due separately in November. One is of the study Moliere, the French Revolution, and the Theatrical After-Life, and the other Women on the Stage in Early Modern France. Both are by scholars I respect. Which means, I hope, that I will enjoy those reads as well. One is by a retired expert in 17th-century French theatre, and one by an emerging scholar in 18th-century French theatre.

One of my mentors once said to me, do something for your career every day. I think that's mostly good advice (how about, "five days a week" instead of "every day"?), and try to remember that that means doing things not for your career, as well.

Yesterday's "something" was taking on a dramaturgy project by a local playwright (and friend) with a local theatre company, where the play's director is someone I've known for a long time, as well. This is pretty exciting, in fact, because I'll be working hands-on in a new theatre project with two people I really like: the playwright and director.

Goodbye, September. Hello, October!

Well, so much for good intentions! Although I enjoyed writing about my delightful meals in Savannah I got nowhere with my plan to blog about food everyday. One of my favorite topics, from any standpoint, and I still couldn't get myself on the page. What gives?

September.

Warning: whinging ahead! I am actively soliciting your feedback and suggestions on how to "get on with it."

I have been surprised by the number of challenges September brought to my life from all directions. If you've been trying to follow my blog this month, I have been more notable by my absence than my presence.

Why? September!

Work challenges! This first month of classes and administration and student interaction has been a series of uphill sprints.

T-shirt armor

Just when I thought I was done and back on level ground, uphill again... full speed!

Before I get into full-speed whinging, though, let me point out the following:

1. my first novel got bought this summer and I hope soon to have a publication date from my publisher;
2. in a recent binge, I submitted 8 short plays and 1 monologue to 54 different site for production or competition;
3. I've got my senior undergrad playwrights involved with student composers, nationally known writing mentors, and, soon, local professional directors and actors;
4. I've got my junior and senior undergrad writers involved in a Spring 2012 celebration of the 600th birthday of Joan of Arc, where their original writing will be featured in public performance;
5. I'm writing three reviews of scholarly monologues for two different journals;
6. My recent conference paper went smoothly and offers yet another possible article, with some rewriting and development;
7. I'm writing encyclopedia entries for French theatre (17th-19th centuries), due in December, by invitation and for remuneration;
8. I've been invited to help form a local short story "bookclub" with some women I really like.

This is all good stuff that's happening: improving my community, working on my creative projects, supporting my teaching, and certainly developing my career credits. And the list above all makes me happy... countering:

Challenge #1: Not becoming sucked into an All Work/All The Damn Time situation. This is a constant challenge for me, and always has been. I tend to immerse myself in my work, and this year (2011) is supposed to be about finding balance. Making work 20% of my life, instead of 95%.

This requires me taking the time to schedule time with friends, making new connections across campus, and using the 15-minutes-per-task approach to house maintenance and grading. I am certainly more conscious about getting other things into my day; I have also realized that I have to set boundaries for myself about putting time into preparing classes, grading, and my own writing.

And yet! (Devil on my shoulder, here...) I am trying to infuse new thinking into my classes, which had begun to feel "old" and boring. To break old habits of putting off grading until the "night before" and to keep the classroom lively and fresh. This requires consistent time invested daily: for my class meeting Tuesday and Thursday, for example, I am spending time on the class on Friday, Sunday, Monday, and Wednesday, beyond the in-class time or student meeting time. Too damn much!

Challenge #2: My absent colleagues. Seriously. I work in a graveyard, where the colleagues on my hallway (five men) all keep their office doors closed all the time. I see my colleagues once monthly, at our faculty meetings. I share no committees with my colleagues--because we have no committees. Seriously? In an academic department? Grant you, I don't want more meetings per se, but I am in our building four days out of every week, and I see 1-2 colleagues weekly. In a department with 17 faculty members.

Not in my hallway!

This is just... weird. We never socialize; for instance, right now we've just welcomed three new colleagues and a guest artist with... nothing. Pointing them out at faculty meetings. The guest artist is with us through October and I've yet to see him. All email, all the time. This mostly just makes me feel disconnecte
Challenge #3: Return to Drah-Ma that comes with being back in classes and the few small meetings. Email seems to heighten Drah-Ma, rather than diminish it. Moments of over-reaction, over-acting, and under-empathy. Sigh.

Challenge #4: Maintaining the good eating, sleeping, and creative habits I flourished with this summer. Keeping the fridge stocked with fresh vegetables and fruits, then remembering to eat them (ah!). The Lazy Me emerges, looking for the quick grab-and-eat stuff of the past, the extended nap, the "do it tomorrow, Scarlett" attitude I worked so hard to nix.

September goal

Yes, on top of the "7 in 7" I am adding a September goal... in part because my month has gotten hijacked by teaching, thanks for inspiration from Unclutterer.

Why am I surprised that the 14 hours I spend weekly in the classroom, plus the 14-20 hours spent weekly preparing the classtime has hijacked my house, my cooking, my friendships, and my personal work? It is, after all, familiar territory. I spend 1-2 hours outside class for every hour I spend teaching... plus meetings with students, emailing students, in meetings with faculty peers, and planning projects (two on burner now).

This is, however, why I set the resolution about both Community and Creative Work for 2011: so that my day-to-day teaching would not overshadow these necessary elements of my life.

Completing the organization and decluttering of my study is a necessary step in both these areas, since the study includes not only my at-home writing/research space, but an area for sitting down with friends.

What needs to be done, now? Completing the organization of my study. Started it, got well into the task... and then stopped. I need a new shredder (killed mine!), need to file paperwork, need to hang bulletin boards and framed art, need to clean off flat surfaces.

October 1 is the new deadline for this project being DONE.

1. Buy new shredder
2. Shred sensitive documents
3. File all retained documents in filing bins
4. Hang bulletin board
5. Hang framed sampler
6. De-clutter flat surfaces and study floor
7. Get rid of cartons, boxes, extra bins in recycling and Goodwill

 Good luck to me!

Goals 2011: Updates

For myself, I am checking in on my 2011 goals.

Improve My Health: I am really pleased with my work over the last couple of months (the summer) in this particular area. After hearing about the jump (whoo!) in my LDL cholesterol, I took specific action here: red yeast rice, oatmeal, increased activity. I am revising my eating habits to eliminate sugar, processed foods, white flour, and other nasty triggers. How do I know it's working? Last night I went out to eat at a local restaurant that specializing in souffles. I had a souffle for dinner that had great flavor (tomato and pesto) but was basically a triple helping of bread pudding, with apricot tart and ice cream for dessert. did I feel bad? Yes. Bloated, sleepless, congested, constipated, and all-around uncomfortable from both the amount of food and the nasty sugar-carbo dump. Don't mean to overshare, but this is a good thing. It means that on a daily basis I am eating a healthy, well-portioned, non-sugar diet incorporating fresh fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean protein. Yay, me!

Stated goals: on track with room for still-signicant accomplishments in 2011

Living Situation: Well, my living situation has improved for the better, as we all know. I lurve my New Apartment, and it is slowly but surely getting clutter-free. This week, I did whip the Dreaded Study into shape, and will continue that work this week; the plan is that by Wednesday it will be where I want it for the beginning of the semester.

What's next? Managing resources (time and space) to make the apartment rally comfortable and workable.

Managing my Resources: I am still working on managing my time and focusing better. Some days, it simply feels as is I have ADD: I am scattered, multi-task without balance, and feel at the end of the day as if nothing was accomplished although I was "busy" all day...

Financially, I have re-tracked my retirement funding and alrady (since January) seen a significant growth in that area. This summer I also started gradually increasing my own donations so that by the end of the year I will have shifted pre-tax dollars to retirement funding in such a way as to not feel the loss. I have also paid down or eliminated my credit card debt positively, and my overall credit rating is excellent. By spending time focusing on my spending habits, I have been able to curtail impulse spending as part of my overall move toward decluttering/minimalizing my life. While I will never be a "100 things" or a "six items or less" person, I have definitely moved away from old habits of getting and spending.

This fall, I intend to focus on time as my significant resource: time for student work, time for my creative endeavors, and saying "no."

Build a Better Community: This goal is tough. The community I was tied into has scattered significantly during the last year, and I am still looking for new ones. I beleive my greatest challenge this fall will be re-integrating myself into my department at My U well, and on my own terms. I have already been talking to colleagues about creating new "groups," and I realize that I have work to do in recognizing and building community.

Part of this is about me seeking out communities for various aspects of my life. I both want and need to reconnect with my own students. I need to connect to communities that reach across campus outside of departmental lines. And, yes, doing the work that community building entails: meetings, contributions, nurturing and working. Too often, this doesn't interest me. Why,  I am still uncertain.

Seeing Creative Work to Closure: Here, I have been very successful.

• brought playwriting festival to successful fruition, including 7 scripts nurtured (March)
• completed, edited, and submitted novel to publisher and received contract (to be signed, this week)
• proposed, wrote, and presented paper at national conference (May; now, rewriting as article)

I have avoided perfectionism and space issues. I have just submitted four more paper proposals (through summer 2012) and am 1/3 of the way through my second manuscript. I have initiated a writing schedule and am doing a pretty good job of keeping it... most days. I am also setting monthly goals--more manageable for me.

July's goals:

1. increase weekly activity for good of LDL lowering
2. get all clutter out of dining room
3. get second ms. 2/3 completed
4. get all syllabi completed
5. initiate one new student-based activity for fall

Men in Power, or Tonight's Opera Talk

Tonight I am one of three panelists taking part in the discussion "Sex, Guilt, and The Diva" in the Dallas Opera's summer subscriber series. We are focusing specifically on La Traviata and Katya Kabanova.

My role, as explained to me, is to be the theatre expert (both plays are based on 19th-century dramas) and to offer feminist insight. I was told we want our discussion to be informative but not academic, and fun. All of which is great, and right up my alley.

Facts: La Traviata, Giuseppi Verdi's 1859 opera, was based on Alexandre Dumas fils' novel/play La Dame aux Camellias (usually referred to as Camille,which was in turn the title of the 1936 film starring Greta Garbo base don Dumas's novel/play). All versions focus on a courtesan who falls in love with a young, middle-class man and leaves her demi-monde life behind. In turn, his father comes to her and begs Marguerite/Violetta/Camille to set the young man free for the sake of his family's honor; she agrees, and returns to her old life, just in time to die from consumption (tuberculosis).

Katya Kabanova, Leos Janacek's 1920 opera is based on Alexander Ostrovsky's 1860 play The Storm. One of Ostrovsky's social dramas, the play and opera tell the story of Katya, a young wife who is bullied by her mother-in-law and her husband. She loves a neighbor and, while her husband is away, is tempted to meet the lover at night, which her mother-in-law discovers. When her husband returns, Katya confesses in front of all the neighbors, and then drowns herself in the Volga.

Verdi's opera is much more "traditional" in its structure and the style of the music. It is the second most performed opera worldwide (The Magic Flute is #1, and also part of this year's season in the Big D). Both operas dervive from plays that are, surprisingly, critiques of middle-class values, even while the middle-class values triumph. Both women die--one from consumption (a wasting disease) and one from suicide (derived from the guilt of adultery). Both plays and operas openly depict the double standard about sexuality for men and women, as well as the reality of women's limited opportunities.

Both are about doomed love, as well, which is, of course, the central draw for many spectators, as well as the gorgeous music.

I'll tell more about this tomorrow... but it has made me think about our recent news items about "men in power," since both authority, sexuality, and middle-class values seem to be a common thread.

Back on line!

I've been out of town and dealing with stepping up to the summer schedule I created for myself. That's been giving me a lot of "to do" priorities.

 

Things I'll be talking about in the next week or so:

1. My annual check-up and summer cooking
2. Big D's Farmer's Market: is it worth it?
3. My trip to the Great NorthEast
4. Paris: the Caillebotte Brothers' exhibition (would that I were in Paris!)
5. Downsizing my stuff
6. Temptations
7. Men in Power
8. Bad Chat

Yes, a lot has happened that I've been thinking about, talking about, and doing. Looking forward to sharing!

My First Party!

Given the sad occasion of my pal leaving town--be it for a great summer gig at Utah Shakespeare Festival and then a much better job at U of U--I had my very first party in my New Apartment last night.

It was a small gathering of nine total, including me--well, ten with Jack, who made several appearances as "Host"--and I advertised the fare as being simple finger food and simple cocktails... an accurate view. My goal was to have no reason for utensils. Oh, and to use the new wet bar.

Success! On all fronts.

Food included:

• baby carrots, cucumber spears, red pepper strips, and green onions
• served with raita (Greek yogurt, diced cucumber, and cumin)
• ripe strawberries, cantaloupe chunks, and gree grapes on the stem
• served with Greek yogurt drizzled with honey
• cracked pepper water crackers, wasa, pita triangles, and French bread slices
• served with hummus
• tortilla chips with guacamole
• four kinds of cheese

Friends brought spicy chicken wings and baby quiches, as well as lovely bottles of wine.

And yes, I stocked the wet bar.

The best part, though: everyone initially gathered around the food table, filled their tiny plates, and yakked, but after an hour or so everyone settled in the living room with plates, glasses, and simply chatted, telling stories, sharing weekly events, and ctaching up. A really, really nice group of friends spending Friday night together. Which is exactly what I hoped for when I rented the New Apartment...

Catching up on goals for 2011

Since the first quarter of 2011 is gone, I want to update myself on my progress this year.

Improving my health: While I haven't lost any weight, the weekly yoga classes and rides on the bike to and from My U have been great. Ditto moving the "small stuff" into my new apartment. I feel better. And I'm adding happy face stickers to my calendar on a daily, not weekly, basis for every day I complete 30 minutes or more exercise. Weight Watchers has been a bit of a bust, but I am hanging in there. The best news: thus far, I have had no serious allergy/sinus episodes (meaning, lasting longer than 4-5 days), which is already a huge difference from 2010. And I have definitely improved my mental self-talk: no more beating myself up. I am catching myself earlier, rescripting my interior monologues, and simply refusing to listen.

Changing my living situation: In progress. By April 30, I will be entirely in the new apartment, enjoying 50% additional space, a wet bar, an outdoor patio, and a kinder, gentler, non-crazy landlord.

Manage my resources: Regular payments into credit accounts have already closed out three of my four cards; the other is being paid down steadily. Moving means decluttering, selling, and throwing away; yesterday I visited Buffalo Exchange with some clothing, for example. Pantry challenge is slowly but steadily emptying my cupboards and freezer. Time continues to be precious, but I feel I have a better handle on it right now. technology: set "acting" folders in emailboxes, clean out email boxes weekly, set daily times to check email (no more than 3 times daily!).

Build a stronger community: Making time for coffee, dinner, brunch with friends. Part of the charm of my new place is that I can, finally, entertain friends at home again!. Working on My U community and local theatre community to develop connections. Working on distance relationships with great friends who live too far away. One goal I want to leap on: connecting with Habitat for Humanity this month.

Creative work and closure: Sent out novel manuscript. Sent out plays and monologues. Subscribed to Script Frenzy, and opportunity to write 100 pages in 30 days (11 down!). Pitched proposal for play translation to colleague (more about this, this week, and I continue to negotiate this situation!). Brought playwriting festival at My U to successful process/production incorporating not only students but faculty and guest visitors. Oh, and writing my blog at least 5 times weekly.

The good news is that I have been active in each category and accomplishing small goals, or parts of larger goals.  Since balance is my overall goal for 2011, I am pleased with my small series of accomplishments; a lot has actually been done.

By the way...

While I am on break, I am sending good thoughts to the people of Japan, the rebels of Libya and Yemen (yes, Yemen, too), the revolutionaries of Egypt (still have a ways to go), and our own government of state and nation that are still trying to figure out whether a woman is a person...

Sigh.

At the end of Day Four: Snowpocalypse

Yesterday I:

• caught up on The Daily Show (3 weeks)
• cooked my favorite carrot soup
• washed dishes in dishwasher and by hand
• responded to email, including Facebook
• posted pictures on Facebook
• burned 15+ CDs into iTunes library so I can sell CDs
• culled out another 10 CDs for burning/selling
• approved new retirement allocation
• scheduled March payments for March bills
• scheduled transfer into savings of last week's grocery savings
• juiced 10 Texas red grapefruits slowly going bad on my dining room table
• blogged
• played with Jack
• rescheduled this week's friendly lunch, friendly dinner, and curricular events for for next week
• rescheduled doctor's appointment and lease-signing meeting
• continued to organize student project taking place in 5 weeks
• started next Goodwill bundle while also cataloging my current wardrobe
• organized year's savings plans through December 2011
• made a date for brunch tomorrow at my favorite restaurant, to signal end of Snowpocalypse
• resent manuscript+ in correct format (duh!)
• wrote 5 new pages of new manuscript!
• made pantry/freezer/fridge challenge for February 2011

Not bad for being snowbound, Day 4.

Happy Birthday, Aquarius!

Well, okay, me, but not today. And Aquarius starts on January 20 (in the era before someone reorganized the star signs... I'm to old to adapt).

But next week is my birthday, so happy birthday to me, Aquarius.

Aquarius is an air sign, despite being the sign of the Water Bearer. We are wedged in between the water sign of Pisces (after us) and the earth sign of Capricorn (before use). Aquarius is the 11th sign in the zodiac, a fixed sign (meaning either stable, persistent, and powerful or inflexible, stubborn, and single-minded, you choose), a masculine sign (positive, dominant, and active), and as an air sign, interested in knowledge, communication, curious and rational (or stuck in our heads, unemotional, detached, and coldly objective, again you choose). We are generally not violent, although we have tempers (more so than our sister air signs, Libra and Gemini). We are the sign of friendship, and find much solace and reward in that relationship among all others.

Aquarians tend to be humanists, compatible with most others, and people who think outside the box. Sometimes this is considered the sign of the genius/madman sign more than any other, and we do have our fair share of wackos, prodigies, and unique individuals.

Famous Aquarians include Oprah Winfrey, Wayne Gretzky, Michael Jordan, Charles Dickens, Mozart, Federico Fellini, Christian Dior, Lord Byron, Edouard Manet, John Belushi, Virginia Woolf, Lewis Carroll, Colette, Susan Sontag, Franklin D. Roosevelt, Charles Lindburgh, Gertrude Stein, Alice Cooper, Hank Aaron, Garth Brooks, Jules Verne, James Dean, Gypsy Rose Lee, Carol King, Rabelais, Mark Spitz, Abraham Lincolm, John L. Lewis, Charles Darwin, Bess Truman, Jimmy Hoffa, Carl Bernstein, Ramakrishna, Charles W. Schwab, Andre Segovia, Yoko Ono, Merle Oberon, John Travolta, Justin Timberlake, and Germaine Greer, among others.

A motley crew of characters, n'est-ce pas?

January 31 -- Check in with 2011 goals

 

1--Improving Overall Health: since 1.5, I've

• signed up for and am attending yoga classes weekly
• joined Weight Watchers
• added extra biking to weekly scheme... still working on that one!

2--Living Situation: very recently, it looks as if by March 1, I will be in a new apartment, owned by friends. The advantages include:

• 50% more space overall
• HE washer-dryer included
• an additional closet
• outside, enclosed patio space
• a bigger complex with more green space and no one looking in my windows directly!
• still within 3 miles of campus and nice biking routes as well as easy drive
• a swanky wet bar!
• less rent! (which will go right into the IRA fund)

This means 2011 goal #2 will be resolved by March, and in a way that will make me very happy. Amazing!

3--Managing my Resources: working on it. Since 1.5, I've

• organized specific daily times (3x daily) to check and send email
• cleaned out 3 email inboxes and unsubscribed from multiple 'new sellers
• focused my two-class-day weeks to allow 1 more day on campus for meet-and-greet with students
• reassessed/assigned my retirement funding and IRA for improved outcome
• continued to pay off credit card debt and not incurred new debt
• made one Goodwill run, mostly clothing
• bought no new books but downloaded free classics to my Nook (for 50 Books 2011)
• started to burn CDs to laptop/iPod for selling
• pulled out CDs, DVDs, and books for selling

4--Improving My Community. Since 1.5, I have

• reconnected with 2 friends via email; now sending weekly quick-touch emails
• made plans to visit one in march for long weekend
• this week, contacted 2 friends on campus for drink/dinner meetings
• connected a colleague into my divisional project and made a lunch date with her to talk about her project
• reached out to connect 5 artists from local theatre scene into project

5--Bringing Creative Closure. Since 1.5, I have

• started working on manuscript submission to publisher
• already writing a new novel
• started talking about a new on-campus project with one fo the colleagues I met this week
• organized, bullied, spear-headed departmental project (via creative management) so much so that colleagues who initially pulled out and forced me to redefine the entire program now want back in to play in my playground!

Lots of "start-up energy" and circumstances. Hopefully, this will sustain me through the coming two months (crazy period!) and then into summer. I am actually surprised at how much has bee started and accomplished in a short time.

2011 Goal #4: Building a Better Community

"Community" has come up several times during the last couple of "goal" postings. I have become more aware of my community as my primary external community--my work colleagues--has dwindled. Without going into melodramatic details, let me say that this community has dwindled through neglect (from leadership downwards), a lack of generosity, downright rudeness, and the 21st century malaise of "too much to do."

The problem here is not about others, but about myself: I have let collegial ties fade, neglected new ties, clipped old ones, and simply not worked to maintain friendships, familial relatonships, and networks.

Step #1 in this goal or intention for 2011: take the time weekly to contact friends, family, and peers via email, socal networks, phone, and plain old handwritten word. This doesn't mean everyone, every week, but certainly making the first move toward regaining or reafffirming ties. And for me, yes, this means a schedule of people to contact on a regular basis by one of the above methods.

I notice that I am so "electronic" and yet emails rarely carry any semblance of the enotional connection between contacts that voice or pen does. My students regularly query me about a brief email: the equivalent of "are you mad?" when I do not say more than "yes" or "no." Two students and I got into a hilarious (and eye-opening) discussion about that, including their suggestion that I include emoticons with every typically brief email. Something to give a temperature of the message, rather than a brief and bleak reply.

Relax: no emoticons for me, except perhaps in the most hilarious manner. But it did confirm for me that emotion and relationships aren't carried by emails, mostly. Only reactions, or facts, or information.

So phone (which I actually dread, mostly) and writing are a better basis for emotional connections.

Step #2: develop new, self-constructed communities. In other words, don't wait for opportunities within the structures I already belong to (My U or My Division, for example) but create new groups. For example, the women within my division could use a "night out" as a group, which may have nothing to do with work at all, but simply being women in a fairly patriarchal structure. Being colleagues with slightly different agendas than our male colleagues. Or a bi-monthly writing group embracing my former students who are in town and others, brought into the group by us. Again, this sounds so ambitious that my goal is to create one "developmental" event per month, starting in February.

Of course, this also appllies to my blog, as I write here and connect (I hope!) with other bloggers and readers.

Step #3: seek out new communities. Already on this, with my yoga class, which looks promising. I also want to consider working outside My U and giving back to the community (!) by participating in something like Habitat for Humanity, starting in March. And maybe... joining a church? I am not much for organized things (I am the product of two people who refuse to join organized groups--my youth was spent avoiding such things and, frankly, never quite fitting into them). While I love the ritual and ceremony of church services (I am in theatre, after all) and the power of the music, and I am a believer, I find the politics and daily practice of being part of organized religion annoying at best and hypocritical at worst. Hmm. No easy answer: just like most of life. But this month, just getting into yoga class is a good idea.

One change in my thinking that happened a couple of years ago was that I started questioning why I was connected to certain long-time friends. Was it habit? A real foundation of experience? Enjoyment of their company? Was the relationship growing or stagnant? In some cases, I found it to be stagnant. In others, the relationship seemed to be buoyed along by my emails, calls, and cards... but was not a shared or growing experience. I found myself examining all my friendships and rethinking the time involved. One friend, for example, who I admire and genuinely like never initiated contact by phone, email, or card; she in fact let me down rather spectacularly on a project we were developing, and never accounted for it. If I did all the work, we connected. If I did nothing, there was no connection. This kind of relationship brought about huge questions regarding my own balance and definition of friendship. It also pointed me toward finding new connections outside "work."

In the end, this is all about balance and bringing balance to my life, which is been dominated by my job for too long. The overall goal I want for this year, for 2011, is to be more engaged, more in control, and more rewarded by my own life... which can only be done by me. So community is, for me, another way of defining who I am becoming and what I want to do with my time (resource) and my future (health).

Step #1: reconnect with friends, family, peers regularly through email, phone, letters, and personal contacts.
Step #2: develop self-defined communities locally or by distance.
Step #3: seek out new communities and connect. This will need about three possibilities, because not every trial group is right.