Following up the follow-up

In the spirit of "good news, bad news":

Yesterday I spent a dee-lightful lunch with a colleague (not that one) at her home. We ate outdoors by her pool, surrounded by Texas wildflowers and her potted succulents. We congratulated ourselves on individually successful years and accomplishments, and chatted lightly about students graduated and on-site. I met her cats and dog, we ate enchiladas she made and apricots I brought around.

Altogether a nice, happy, laughter-filled lunch. Oh, and totally missing the b.s. of last week's encounters.

Both of us have grown and come through a difficult patch in our personal lives but also our professional lives. Like me, she works on many projects outside the department (as well as in) and generously gives her time to students and professional colleagues. She's found a better way to continue working--lots more energy here, frankly.

We're talking about partnering on a project next year. I think it will happen, if I can get the script translated.

Then I spent the evening with another colleague at a meeting where I am a new member. Whee! Okay, the meeting was too long and confused, but she and I had drinks after and caught up. She's had a recent disappointment that I spent some time convincing her was, in fact, a weird kind of blessing. And it is: cat's out of the bag, she's off the hook, etc. Two years on the school's dime (with benefits) to develop her own projects. Go for it.

Yet another pleasant, open, honest conversation. Wow.

And then... "bad news":

Apparently a recent email of exchange of mine sparked hurt feelings for another colleague.

No, I didn't talk about him to someone else, or to him about himself. What I did was talk to a third party about a program that I might have some interest in, sharing my opinions about what I'd like to see (after prompting by third party) and stating that I wasn't aware of what was being developed.

Apparently, this is a case of letting people know "the right hand doesn't know what the left hand is doing," which is bad form. Ironically, MY bad form, according to my colleague... who never told me anything or asked me to participate. Well, shut my mouth, you big baby. You don't share, but boo hoo because I make you look like you didn't do your due diligence? which you didn't? boo hoo hoo.

And you slapped me in front of my chair, my dean, and the head of international programs? Oh no you din't.

Wasting my time.