Express Closet Experiment: What Lies Beneath...

I realize I've dropped this weekly entry recently, but perhaps that's because everything is going so well in my closet. Of course, the rapid change of seasons is forcing me to move toward spring clothes more quickly (which in the Big D means summer clothes). All too soon, it will be above 80degrees every day.

But while I've blogged about, thought about, acted on my closet's holdings, I am also a girl who is all about what lies beneath: lingerie and support wear.

The fact is that no matter how well you dress yourself up on the outside, it is what lies underneath that makes you look good. We all know what I mean.

I have this discussion with friends my age, but some of my acting friends have it with their female students, graduates and undergraduates. Even someone who's twenty and slim can need the right kind of support--in fact, most times they need it as much as someone my age, because firmness isn't an age-related factor entirely.

All women need to think about:

• Pantylines
• Sheer, transparent, and thin fabrics
• Static cling
• Jiggling and bounce
• Breasts, waists, backs, bellies, thighs, and backsides

Of course, there's a difference in thinking about them on the beach or at a weekend party and thinking about them in a professional and situation-appropriate way.

For example: a job interview or audition (for our performance students). For instance: a family party with your grandmother present or your boyfriend's parents. For instance: a funeral or wedding.

In a job interview, you do not want the interviewer more aware of your panty lines or the color or the absence of your lingerie than of your intellectual and skill-centered qualifications.

At a funeral, you do not want the mourners aware of your pink lace tanga, especially if it is two sizes too small and bordered with taut elastic.

Right up front, I'm conservative. So take that as a marker of my point of view. I never think it's okay to see a black panty through white jeans, bare breasts or nipples bouncing or sagging in a T-shirt or thin sweater, a thong T rising above the waistband of a skirt or jeans, or jiggling parts in leggings or jeggings. Ugh.

My question: what are you advertising?

Of course, I was someone who developed a sort-of bosom by the time I was in fifth grade, and a serious bustline by the time I was in high school. For a long time, then, I've had a reason to be intimately interested in how well lingerie fit, and I've always liked lingerie. (My eyes are up here, fellas!)

Now that I'm older, fuller, less firm... I appreciate the benefits of lingerie that does its job as support as well as a pretty, feminine layer between your skin and your clothes.

For the next few weeks, I'll examine the issues of various types of necessary lingerie and it's pleasures as well. Manufacturers are working hard to convince us that they make pretty, sexy, working underwear for everyone--no matter what size or shape or age. Really? Let's see.